This Valentine’s day was one for the books, ya’ll. At first I had a serious case of the bummers because I didn’t think I was going to have a date. I talked to my therapist about it on Tuesday and she said that lots of people feel sad on Valentine’s day because society has set up a system of often unobtainable standards by which some of us feel obligated to measure ourselves and Vanentine’s day is the ultimate corporate explotation of our true emotional being. I said I guess so but really I just wanted someone to snuggle with.
Well imagine my elation when my good buddy Sticky Fingers from work came over to my desk on Thursday and hipped me to the fact that his sister-in-law was also unattached this V-day. He invited me to double with him and his wife at a PF Chang’s near his house in the burbs. I was stoked.
First thing I did was pull my old suit out of the closet, the one I wore to my senior prom. I don’t really have any nice dress shirts. All the ones I had before I moved to Chicago got destroyed when I accidentally put them in the washing machine with a box of ballpoint pens. Anyway, I just threw on one of my new Polo shirts and I was looking pretty sweet.
PF Chang’s is one of the fanciest places I’ve ever been. I got the Beef a la Sichuan. My date, who I’ll call Anita, was gorgeous. And so smart! I couldn’t stop listening to her talk about her job working at an animal shelter. She showed me so many pics of puppies and kitties. My heart was aflutter.
When we got back to Sticky Finger’s house he and his wife went right up to their room. Their kids were staying at Mrs. Sticky Fingers parents’ house. Anita and I sat on the couch in the living room. She had on this really amazing white blouse with ruffles down the front. She had a white flower in her hair and I asked if I could smell it. She smiled and said it wasn’t real but she thought it was sweet that I wanted to. I turned on the T.V. It was the Disney channel. I tried to change it but I pressed the wrong button and all that happened was that the picture went away and the audio from the Disney Channel switched to surround sound. She laughed and didn’t seem to mind.
Eventually we were doing it on the couch. She was on top which is okay with me because I’m really into women’s rights. It was very nice. I thought she was a beautiful woman and she seemed really into it. There was just one problem. The Disney Channel was still blaring. I’m not sure what show it was but it seemed like their were two brothers who wanted a third brother to take them to an amusement park. The third brother would only do so if the first two younger brothers got him information about a girl he had a crush on. They were able to do this because that girl’s younger sister was on their little league team. No one liked her because she was the only girl on the team. Anyway, I was actually starting to get into the plot and I sort of got distracted and I don’t really think I left Anita feeling as cared for as maybe I should have
I spent the rest of the weekend trying to call her and email her but she wouldn’t respond. I just know if I could get another chance with her, and if the Disney Channel wasn’t roaring in the background, I could make her happy and maybe we could have a future together. Here’s hoping.